Let me preface this post by saying that I don’t mean to cause any offense. It’s a big world, and everybody is free to enjoy their books any way they want.
There – I’ve got that out of the way. Let me come out with it. I don’t like book clubs.
I can’t even tell you why that is. I love books. I love talking about books. And I’d certainly love the idea of people discussing any of my books. But when it comes to book clubs, it seems like there’s an invisible line drawn in my mind.
Maybe it’s because it reeks so much of the way books were discussed at school. It makes me think of being back in class talking about things I’m not interested in regarding books I never wanted to read. Ok, maybe that’s overdoing things a bit, but there’s something about the formality of it all that doesn’t work for me. It seems kind of forced and artificial when, to me, reading a book is one of the great informal joys, where you can just sit back and lose yourself.
One thing that especially irritates me about the whole book club thing is now you’re starting to see books actually have a list of potential questions for discussion in a book club. I don’t like this at all. It’s like as a reader, you’re told what you should be getting out of reading, when to me, reading a book is an intensely individual and personal experience. It also seems patronising to readers – like they can’t figure out what’s important about a book.
Anyway, as the cliché says, if you can’t beat them, join them. And besides, my natural response to anything I don’t like is to make fun of it. So, with that spirit in mind, here are 10 questions (mostly) about Magnus Opum which I’m sure no book club is ever going to consider discussing:
- Is there a causal relationship between excessive consumption of pflugberries and reported cases of the Grompets?
- What is the significance of the minor key chord progressions favoured by Cherine song writers?
- What impact do Doosie nasal infections have on regular news transmission?
- Is there anything the Great Oponium doesn’t know, and are you a complete idiot for even considering the question?
- Discuss the aesthetic of the Pharseeth, in a loud sing-song voice, while standing on your head and balancing a ball on your knee.
- If you were ever to be captured by the Blerchherchh, would you rather by marinated in a red wine sauce or seared, steamed and served in dumplings?
- Would you classify the bodily fluids of a Glurg as offensive weapons?
- Whose borse does have the least lean?
- A Gleeprog, a Shabandor, and a Klunkarian walk into a bar. What happens next?
- The seldom seen diperagoff – discuss.
So there you go. Once again, I hope I haven’t caused any offense. If you’re a book club sort of person, good luck to you. As a writer, any kind of reader is ok by me. Just don’t expect to see me at the next meeting.
Cheers and thanks for having me.
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Jonathan Gould
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I think I'd rather be marinated. At least drowning would be relatively quick and painless compared to being seared to death.
And if you think book clubs are no fun, you obviously missed our discussion during the last read-along. ;-)
LOL no kidding Amanda. That changed my whole outlook on book clubs!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like book club discussion questions included in books. I always feel like I haven't read the book "deeply" enough if I don't have any real answers for them at the end.
Now that read-a-long was definitely a whole different ballgame! I think in part because we were just honestly reacting to the book instead of trying to answer preset questions :-)
I had a book club recently ask me for questions to help them discuss my mystery novel. I was flattered. The few book discussion groups I have attended, however, have felt awkward and academic to me, so I kept that in mind when thinking of questions. I'd love for this group to have fun discussing my book, but I never thought of asking if they would "classify the bodily fluids of a Glurg as offensive weapons?" I can go on and on with my sister-in-law on the phone about a book or even just a passage of a book one or the other of us have read, but some people join book clubs for the social stimulation, and I am not about to criticize what it takes to get the discussion going. Though I wouldn't hesitate to recommend a good bottle of Cabernet.
Well I feel a bit silly. I've come in a day late for this. Thanks to the Indie Exchange for having me and thanks for all the comments.
They're actually starting up a book club at my work – which is what gave me the idea for the post. Guess what the first book is? Hint: the title involves a number between 49 and 51 and a colour kind of between black and white. I guess that's 2 reasons for not wanting to join up.
PS. Given that my (almost) book is the subject of the next read-a-long, I'm not sure if I should be excited or terrified.
Great post Jonathan.
A big thank you to the Indie Exchange for hosting Mr Gould.
I think book clubs are a good thing in some respects but I think with books a reader should just enjoy the story. If they want to discuss what it means to them then fine by me.
What I don't like is critics telling us what an author is trying to say. I remember reading Tolkien was perplexed when critics told him The Lord of the Rings is an allegory of the Second World War.
I hope this sort of thing never happens with me. I just want any books I write to be enjoyed as stories. If they have any deep, underlying or allegorical meaning then it's not intentional!
I like book clubs even though I'm not in one.
But this is hilarious!